Working Mom, Stay At Home Dad, One Amazing Boy

This is a grumpy post. Why? Because I’m tired. Because even though the boy went right to bed after the unusual 3a wake up, he still woke up at 3 AM!

And is it wrong that I don’t give (in the words of my mother) a “rat’s ass” about the Olympics? And if I did care, why would I give a rat’s butt anyway? Who wants a rat butt? I just can’t muster any interest in Michael Phelps. In fact, I’d rather watch Pingu. I know, I know. It seems WRONG. How can a person go from reading a book about football hooligans in the 80s to watching a show about a stop motion animation penguin? I have no idea.

I think I may be tired.

The Dooz had quite a busy weekend that included a trip to the park, water balloons, vietnamese pancakes and a cold. The weather has been hot and steamy (ending as I type with cool air moving in smelling like rain) and we’ve tried to keep him cool all weekend. Yesterday, we hit a neighborhood park with a big green expanse for him to explore. He very much enjoys the freedom to be able to walk wherever he wants. Unfortunately, that also comes with the inevitable scratches and scrapes.

Awhile back, we made a commitment to rid ourselves of cleaning products loaded with chemicals. It seems so simple, and yet we had random individual cleaning stuff hanging around that we didn’t really even give much thought to. Things like Windex or toilet bowl cleaner (I hate the toilet bowl). So, I finally did a big purge of cleaners (most of them were just about done with anyway) and have moved from half using natural products to 100% moving over. If I were smarter (clearly, I’m not) I would have done this a long time ago. Perhaps the feeling that my lungs were bleeding while cleaning the bathtub might have clued me in? Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad … but it was close. And with the allergies that Dooz and I have, it definitely had to happen.

So, I tried Caldrea and loved their products, but they are too damn expensive. $9 for 16 oz. of dish detergent? I can’t spend that much money on something that actually does go down the drain. Back in the two parents working days, maybe it would have been an indulgence. Then again, I prefer my indulgences to keep my feet warm. Anyway, we’ve always used Method and you have to admit, they’re stuff is pretty inexpensive. They even have a new line of kids products that are totally phthalates and paraben free (something I’m constantly looking at in products for the D). Unfortunately, they’re carried at Target and I am broken up with Target right now. Which leaves us with Mrs. Meyers, carried at our local grocery store. It smells nice and their all purpose cleaner does a really nice job without leaving an overpowering smell. Still, I wanted something a bit more inexpensive and even more minimal so I poked around for the basics because though these cleaners were better, it didn’t really fall in to our other commitment … to consume less. And I have to say, why the heck was I using all of that stuff before when all I needed was/is some baking soda, vinegar and lemon? Sheesh. It’s awesome. No weird fumes, no wondering what words on labels mean. The only thing I have to worry about is making sure I don’t confuse spray bottles and shoot the dog in the snout with 1 part vinegar and 1 part water.

Is this a dorky, mom-ish post or what? Don’t get me wrong, I am not great at “keeping a house”. You won’t see posts with clever ways I’ve arranged furniture or hand painted pillows on my Design*Sponge-ish couch. The reality is, my house is the cleanest when someone is coming over (and often only because Mark has insisted even if I don’t care how people see our house, he definitely does). And if you randomly show up, you’re risking a small pile for the compost bin on the kitchen counter, bras hanging in the bathroom and toys strewn over every possible surface. Oh and everything will look slightly fuzzy, because despite vacuuming twice a day, we are losing the battle with the dog fur.

The real driver is consuming less (living on one income and tired of buying crap) and having what we need to consume have the best shot of biodegrading or being recycled. I could almost poke myself in the eye for writing this post because I am a little more than sick of eco-this, eco-that and green-spin. But, still, it’s a change we felt pretty good about.

Oh and p.s. if you need something other than phthalates and parabens to worry about, there are always BPAs.

You know that song from Lou Reed, Perfect Day? The one that may be ingrained in your mind as the one that plays in Trainspotting while Ewan MacGregor slips away into his heroin induced carpet coma. It’s a beautiful song and to be honest, I tend to forget about it. That is, until I’m in the midst of a day that can only be described by that specific song.

Yesterday was one of those days. For the first time in a very long time, I actually had nothing going on at work and decided early in the week to take the day off. And so we woke up early and Mark had a chance to stay in bed for just a bit more. I sat the Dooz in his high chair while he happily munched on some Os and pointed out things in the dining room. He has this way of asking what things are and/or pointing them out by saying “S’dat?” I whipped up some homemade vanilla/cinnamon pancakes just in time for Mark to wake up. And it was so lovely, just eating breakfast as a family with no pressure of places to be, things to do.

Post breakfast, we decided to head to the zoo. It was such a clear and shiny morning, it seemed just right for walking around Woodland Park. We actually scored a free parking spot right in front of the west entrance and made it inside just in time for the gorillas playing right up at the glass of their enclosure. The Dooz was SUPER excited to walk around and even more excited to hit the Zoomazium. Basically, it’s a place to let your kids go crazy in one spot that happens to have lots of carpeting and cushion. We even had time for a snack on the grass by the family farm area.

Afterwards, we went in to Ballard to run some errands and walked over to the park which happens to have a nice little splash area. Though no one was dressed for it, we let D walk through through the water spots, pat the concrete urchin and splash through the area until he was totally soaked. He was so dang happy, I couldn’t have pulled him away if I wanted to.

And then, home in time for a nap and a little time to read and sit in the sunshine on our deck with the dogs.

The perfect day. And though I have a tiny bit of video of Dooz at the zoo, I didn’t have the camera for our impromptu soak fest at the park. At first, I cursed myself for not taking the SLR, but now I think that maybe it was for the best. Maybe days like this are best left to memory … like some special little secret.

There’s not denying it, I’ve been made soft by the Dooz (and not just physically). Prior to having the boy, I could watch, read and hear all manner of things. AD (or After Dooz), I find myself unable to hear anything that involves a child suffering. It’s exactly like my inability to watch the dog/cop show on Animal Planet (which begs the question, why the hell would I want to watch that show?).

Case in point. Over the weekend a friend had lent me the book The Other Boleyn Girl and I was looking forward to a good, quick summer read. In the midst of this book, Mary Boleyn’s children are taken from her at very young ages and she’s not able to see them for long stretches of time. It literally made me feel sick. Thinking about being away from D for even a couple of days is something I haven’t done yet. I had to put the book down for a bit. No, really.

Another example? The news. Something awful is always happening to the news and I can’t bear to hear about children (especially D’s age) being mistreated, abused, etc. Mark has taken to making sure that I’m not in earshot if he’s discussing stories like that.

There’s just something about having a baby that changes your perspective in ways you’ve never expected. It’s not as earth shattering disruptive as it seems when people tell you about it. For me, it happens at surprising moments and in a permeating way. As if it’s something that’s just seeping through everything and before I know it, certain areas are saturated.

The best thing about summer? All of the Sunday markets where you can pick up fresh organic produce from local growers. This week’s gem? Rainbow chard and sweet Walla Walla onions that ended up as the following dinner. It was a big hit with everyone and there aren’t many things better than having dinner that makes everyone happy.

Swiss chard, chopped finely

2-3 walla walla onions (halfway down the green)

White or brown rice

Balsamic vinegar

Olive oil

1 tablespoon butter

Miracle Blend (What? You don’t have any? Well, go get some! Seriously, you’ll thank me.)

Add 1 c. rice to 1 c. water, bring to a boil. Turn heat to low, cover and simmer for 15-20 minutes.In the meantime, heat tablespoon (or so) of oil in a pan over medium heat. Add the greens and season lightly with Miracle Blend. Saute until starting to darken and add tablespoon of Balsamic vinegar, add butter. Continue to saute until leaves are darkened and stems look a little bit transparent. By this time the rice should be ready. Toss in rice and a tiny bit more olive oil. Stir together firmly and continue to cook for a few more minutes.

Eh voila! Yummy summer food. 

We totally need this to hide the hideous cords that D is always gravitating towards. It meets our 2 criteria: inexpensive and nicely designed.

The Dooz is a very hungry person. I had no idea a 14 month old could eat 2 eggs and a piece of toast. Our priorities have officially shifted from spending most of our dough on eating out, drinking and buying CDs to figuring out how to fill the boy’s belly. In addition, we constantly try to make sure he’s getting a varied enough diet (along with all of the things he needs). This is no small feat considering all hell breaks loose once a cracker has been sighted. He makes a noise that I imagine being similar to the sound a prehistoric bird makes right before it’s about to eat you.

Despite his adoration or crackers, toast and cheese, he does love healthy food too. And the other day, while struggling to get food made during an emergency (the emergency being that the boy was HUNGRY), I found a quick little lunch that made everyone happy. It’s sort of a combo of quickie food and a Jacques Pepin recipe from his book Fast Food My Way. It goes a little something like this:

Annie’s natural/organic mac and cheese (the microwaveable kind)
Fresh spinach
One egg

Bring a small pot of water to boil. And heat a separate small pan (for the egg) to medium. Chop the spinach into bite size pieces. As noted on the Annie’s directions, empty the noodles into a bowl, add a 1/2 cup of water and microwave for 3 minutes. In the meantime, the water should be boiling. Drop the spinach in and blanche it quickly. Crack an egg into the hot pan and break the yolk. Drain the spinach in a colander. Stir the egg a bit and pull of the heat just before the yolk has totally hardened up. Add a little milk and the cheese packed to the noodles that were in the microwave. Add the spinach and egg and stir.

Voila! Super fast lunch that is a little more than just mac and cheese. I’m no Julia Child, but I’m pretty darn good at whipping stuff up in a pinch.

Well, here we are. It all started with a conversation in which I tried to convince Mark to start a blog to write about his experiences as a newly minted stay-at-home-dad. After several after 7 conversations (i.e. the time in the evening when the baby is in bed and we flop on the couch with exhaustion) we decided it was something we could do together because sometimes this whole child-having gig seems to closely resemble a relay race. Instead of passing the baton after running a leg and then collapsing with exhaustion we … wait, it IS the same.

And so here we are, on the first day that the Dooz took steps on his own thinking about how we’ve managed to make it this far at the cusp of his change into a toddler. What does this mean? It means that we’re going to spend a whole heck of alot more time chasing him with a greater potential for big falls. Ack.

If you’re wondering who we are, here you go. Welcome!